Understanding Grief

When working with the pain of Grief and Loss in all it’s forms, some of my client’s find they can relate to the following models of grief. 


The Dual Process Model.



This model shows how people alternate between Loss Orientated Coping (things that focus on the grief, like:-  memories, photos and feelings of sadness) and Restorative Coping (things that focus on rebuilding life after the loss like:-discovering who we are without our loved one, having new experiences). The space in between, refers to our everyday life- experiences. Some clients find this helpful as they realise, the process of going from Loss Orientated Coping to Restorative Coping is a normal and healthy part of the grief process. Clients realise they can experience episodes of deep grief and still maintain intervals of everyday life experience, moving forward to rebuild life after loss. 

Tonkin’s Model of Grief.



Lois Tonkin’s model often referred to as ”Growing Around Grief” suggests that for some people, grief stays the same and life, coping and moving forward, grows bigger around the grief. Client’s that I work with will often say this is their reality. Experiencing  their grief staying the same, and alongside this,  realising the capacity within them, to do new things, and be curious about who they are becoming and giving themselves permission to revisit  their grief when they need to, is ok and provides hope for them.

If you or someone you know are suffering from grief or loss and think some Counselling or Psychotherapy may be of benefit, please get in touch at www.impactnorthwest.co.uk


Emma Appleby is the Clinical Director of Impact North West, providing:- Counselling, Psychotherapy and Coaching to Adults and Adolescents.

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